Dad

My relationship with my dad is a rocky one. We have never really seen eye to eye. I truly love him just like any daughter loves her father, but I find it quite difficult to show. My dad’s side of the family is not very emotional. They rarely give hugs, say nice things to one another, or spend time together as a family. Those are some things I have come accustomed to. I used to find it very weird that they did not do things in a loving manner or as a family, but now when I see my dad, or his side of the family it is something I am used to.

My dad left my house for the last time in 2007, which was my parents’ third and final separation. I have heard many kids talk about they how spend weekends hunting with their dad, fixing things, or simply going out to dinner. I have done those things with my father maybe a handful of times. I went hunting with my dad when I was a little girl, and he did take me to Field and Stream to take my hunter safety test, but those adventures have slipped away. When my parents were together my dad was always working on things out in the garage. My dad used to be quite the handy man, I would often be out there with him and when he needed a tool it was my job to hand it to him. The last time I worked on something with my dad was probably two years ago, I was helping him change the shocks on his truck. My dad does take my sister and I out to dinner every now and then. The three of us would always take the wrappers on our straws and throw them at one another. We used to be able to sit at a restaurant table and talk forever. Today, when we go out to dinner, my dad is glued to his phone, and since he is glued to his phone, so is my sister, which results in me doing the same thing.  

Many things have changed between my dad and I, and who knows, maybe it’s for the better. Maybe not seeing eye to eye is a good thing. I just wish he would have been there for me during major milestones in my life. I am glad that my dad made it to my graduation ceremony, and I am also pleased that he knows how hard I worked in high school and how seriously I am taking college.

I do love my dad, but there are things that I wish I could change. I wish we had a better relationship. I wish we could spend more time together. I wish he was more involved in my life, as well as my sister’s. I wish he knew that everything he missed out on in my life has passed, and that he cannot go back in time. I wish he would realize that his daughters are not little girls anymore. And I wish he would understand that his girls would like to have a daddy-daughter relationship with him again.