Tate, Tylor, and Cody

I have three cousins on my dad’s side of the family, Tylor, Takota (who we call Cody), and Tate. My sister and I often saw them when my aunt and uncle were together. Thirteen years ago split. My aunt took Tylor, Cody, and Tate to live up north. Since then, we hardly see them due to the seven hour driving distance between us.

My cousin, Tylor and I were really close growing up. He is six months older than me, so we were practically like twins. I would always ask my parents if Tylor could come over to play, and I was almost always told yes. When Tylor would come over, our parents would often find us in my play room or running around outside. Tylor and I were always together, whether if it was for special occasions like birthdays or the holidays, or if we just wanted to have someone over to play with.

For the past thirteen years I have not really had a relationship with Tylor. Since he lives so far away it is hard to hangout with him and try to rebuild our relationship. I still text him on his birthday to let him know I think about him, but there are hardly any words exchanged other than “thank you” and “you’re welcome.”

It really upsets me that I have such a strong relationship with my cousins on my mom’s side or the family, but not my dad’s. I know distance is a huge factor in this problem, which sucks, but I would like to at least try and have a conversation with Tylor, Cody, and Tate. If I am lucky, I see them once, maybe twice a year. I see them in February for the i-500 snowmobile race, and sometimes we will meet once during the summer for lunch. When my sister and I see our cousins, we don’t really know what to say. We hardly ever spend time with them, so when we do see them it is kind of awkward and we don’t know what is acceptable to talk about.

Last year, when Tylor and I graduated we went up north for his graduation party. He was busy talking to guests of course, but he actually set time aside to talk to me. I congratulated him on completing school. Graduation was a big thing for Tylor and I because we are the first ones on my dad’s side of the family to complete grade school. After talking for a while, our mother’s wanted to get a picture of us together, and then had our siblings jump in the picture as well. Living so far away from my cousins is definitely hard and I wish we had a stronger bond, but maybe someday, when we’re older and wiser we will be able to sit down and talk and feel awkward about our past…

Libby

Libby and I have known each other since middle school. We would sit at the same lunch table, but never really talked. We sat at the same table in high school too, but didn’t really talk then either, until we had a class together sophomore year. That year we became friends, although we did not talk every day. Junior year is when our friendship really took off and it continued to grow our senior year of high school.

Libby and I really understand each other; she is the one person that I know I can tell absolutely anything to. She is there to give me advice when I need it, listen to me vent when I need to, or give a hug when I am having a bad day, just like I do the same for her.

Libby and I are constantly asked if we are sisters or twins. I never really saw a resemblance in us until my mom pointed it out. There have been countless times when we have been asked if we are related. The most was three times in one day. Many people tend to ask if we are twins first, and when we say no they then ask if we are sisters. We always talk about how we have to say yes one time just to see how people would react, but we have failed to do that.

Libby and I went to Jason Aldean’s concert last month and it was just amazing. Ever since then we have talked about how we want to save money and buy tickets for a really good seat, you know the ones that are like hundreds of dollars. This will be a major expense, and something that will have to wait until we are older, but it will be so awesome to say that we were in the pit or on the floor.

Last year, for our senior prom Libby and I went together. Cause who needs dates for prom anyways right? Even though it is a lot of fun to go with your boyfriend, we both had fun spending our last dance together as best friends. It is sad knowing that we will not be spending hours getting ready for the dance this year, but we have weddings to look forward to now.

Libby is my unbiological sister, and I couldn't have asked for a better girl to be by my side. Thank you for always being there for me!(:

Dakota

Dear Dakota,

I have grown close with you over the years from being best friends with Libby and being with Oliver. You would often come over and go swimming, or stop over at my house to see how my family was doing, you were always checking in on us. I am so glad I had the opportunity to get to know you, and not consider you a friend, but a brother.

I will never forget when you, Libby, Oliver, and I went on a double date to the monster jam and we had to drive separate because you and Oliver both loved driving your trucks so much. I have to say your trucks did look like beauts parked up on that snow bank. When the show was over we went back to your house and watched country music videos. I remember Libby and I sitting in the living room while you and Oliver were in the kitchen making a mountain of pizza rolls, you guys sure loved to eat. :)

Junior prom was definitely a night I will never forget. Having you, Libby, Oliver, and I all pose for pictures is something that I love to look back on. I loved how your dad had to take pictures from all different angles!

Senior homecoming also had some awesome pictures. I love the one where you have your sunglasses on and you are squinting because of the sun. As well as the picture of you and Oliver with your shades on posing like security guys.

Last year, it was the night before Christmas Eve and you were texting me like crazy. I told you I was making peanut butter chocolate dipped cookies, and you insisted that you wanted to help. Although, when you got to my house you just sat there and casually taste tested them. A couple months ago I was scrolling through your instagram pictures and I found the picture of the cookies, they looked burnt. In your caption you should have said they were dipped in chocolate, you must have just wanted everyone to think I'm horrible at baking. :)

I also love your obsession with lights. On that same night we went to watch a light show. You were sitting in the seat behind me and I will never forget how high pitched your voice got when the show started! You were making noises as the lights were dancing. I also found a video you posted on instagram of the light show, your caption for that was a little more accurate, “Some cool shit with the Sharkey family.” :)

I also wanted to upload the video of you that we played at your funeral, but it wouldn't let me...I even made a new one, but I didn't have any luck...I'm sorry...

Today, I still find it extremely hard to believe that you were taken so young. I am glad that you certainly did live your life to the fullest every chance you got. I am thankful to have such an amazing, goofy, loud guy looking over me from up above.  It hurts having to wait so long to see such an amazing guy again, but I know you are with me every day. I love you, Dakota, watch over us all down here, and keep living your life up there..

                                    Love Always,

Your Sister, Bre

Mom

Dear Mom,

          I have grown up so much over the past four years and I cannot thank you enough for always being there for me. You have definitely seen me at my worst, but you are always there for me to talk to, ask for help, or give advice. At times I know I can be a pain, that’s just part of growing up though. Mom, you’re the one person I can turn to no matter what and I know you’ll always do your best to help. We have experienced many changes in the past few years, but they have shaped us into the family we are today. I am so thankful to have you in my life and I could not have asked for a better mother. Today I turn eighteen, it’s honestly so crazy to see how time has flown, it seems like yesterday I was out at the sand hill cutting my foot open, or just being terrified to enter middle school. This coming fall you will have two freshmen, that’s insane, but it’s also a wonderful thing. Thank you for always being by my side, giving me a shoulder to cry on, and most importantly for being the mom you are today. I love you!

Love Always, -Bre

I wrote this letter to my mom my senior year of high school. I placed it on her pillow on my eighteenth birthday, and after she read it that night she came up to my room crying. My mom and I butt heads a lot, but that does not damage our relationship. Sometimes we have to yell at one another. We have to let our anger out and sometimes we do not do it in the best way, but at the end of the argument we almost always apologize.

I know I can go to my mom about anything and she will tell me the truth, mainly because I am old enough to figure out if she is lying or not. My mom always gives me advice whether I like it or not. She is constantly talking to my about relationships, motherhood, and our family. When she talks about relationships she either says do not get married, or wait many many years. Motherhood is often about waiting until after marriage to have kids and how to discipline them. My mom talks about our family a lot. Each family member has had a struggle in their life, and my mom often tells me that I can learn from each person in our family one way or another. Although, when she talks about these things the advice sometimes seems more like a lecture.

I thought being a single mom with two daughters was a struggle, in 2012 my mom adopted my step-cousin, Kylee. Kylee was my step-cousin on my dad’s side of the family. So, many people are baffled as to why my mom would adopt a child from her ex-husbands side of the family. My mom knew Kylee had a bad life when she was three years old. When the opportunity came three years ago to help Kylee, my mom was more than happy to turn her life around. Now, my mom is a single mother with three daughters. I am so amazed that my mom took on another child to love as her own. Yes, our household can be crazy at times because of all the girls, but my mom has made the perfect family, and I look up to her for that. One day I hope to be half the women that my mom is, but in the long run, I know I can always go to her about anything.