To Be or Not To Be Forever

I usually post blogs about people who will be in my life forever, this week I wanted to write about that along with something different. Everyone has friends who come and go in their life, and sometimes this can be quite difficult to deal with.  In middle school I had one group of friends and we stayed like that in high school. However, in my senior year that changed, I started a serious relationship and most of my time was spent with my boyfriend. Since this happened, many of my “friends” began talking behind my back.  As time went on, I began to slowly stop talking to these “friends.” My mom told me quite often that if I didn’t spend so my much time with my boyfriend then I would still be friends with them. I see this as a blessing though. I learned that “friends” do not stay in your life forever; they come and go, just like seasons. But I do have people in my life who I know will always be there for me.

I was also blessed by having an amazing boyfriend . My boyfriend is there for me no matter what and gives me all of the support in the world. He calms me down when I get moody and reminds me that everything happens for a reason.

 My best friend also always there for me whenever I need someone to talk to and she is a reminder that I do not need many friends to have a good life. Having these two people in my presence makes my life worth living.

My sister is also one of my closest friends. I do not tell her everything obviously, she would totally tell our mom then, but she understands me better than any other person.  Almost every rough patch I go through, whether it’s break ups, having horrible friends, or our parents’ divorce she was always there for me just as I am always there for her.

There are people in my family who do not necessarily get along. The majority of my family lives extremely close, like neighbors close, but then there is my aunt. She lives about a country block away and often “stirs the pot” in our family.  She starts many fights and wants anything and everything to be about her. I was really close to my aunt growing up, but as years passed, I began to hardly see her. Today, I usually only see her around Christmas and a few times during the summer.

One thing I have learned about life is that I have the ability to choose my friends. I can pick who I want to spend my life with and the people who I want to have in my personal circle. I may form numerous relationships with people, but not many will last. I know if I want someone to be in my life forever then I have to make that happen.

Tate, Tylor, and Cody

I have three cousins on my dad’s side of the family, Tylor, Takota (who we call Cody), and Tate. My sister and I often saw them when my aunt and uncle were together. Thirteen years ago split. My aunt took Tylor, Cody, and Tate to live up north. Since then, we hardly see them due to the seven hour driving distance between us.

My cousin, Tylor and I were really close growing up. He is six months older than me, so we were practically like twins. I would always ask my parents if Tylor could come over to play, and I was almost always told yes. When Tylor would come over, our parents would often find us in my play room or running around outside. Tylor and I were always together, whether if it was for special occasions like birthdays or the holidays, or if we just wanted to have someone over to play with.

For the past thirteen years I have not really had a relationship with Tylor. Since he lives so far away it is hard to hangout with him and try to rebuild our relationship. I still text him on his birthday to let him know I think about him, but there are hardly any words exchanged other than “thank you” and “you’re welcome.”

It really upsets me that I have such a strong relationship with my cousins on my mom’s side or the family, but not my dad’s. I know distance is a huge factor in this problem, which sucks, but I would like to at least try and have a conversation with Tylor, Cody, and Tate. If I am lucky, I see them once, maybe twice a year. I see them in February for the i-500 snowmobile race, and sometimes we will meet once during the summer for lunch. When my sister and I see our cousins, we don’t really know what to say. We hardly ever spend time with them, so when we do see them it is kind of awkward and we don’t know what is acceptable to talk about.

Last year, when Tylor and I graduated we went up north for his graduation party. He was busy talking to guests of course, but he actually set time aside to talk to me. I congratulated him on completing school. Graduation was a big thing for Tylor and I because we are the first ones on my dad’s side of the family to complete grade school. After talking for a while, our mother’s wanted to get a picture of us together, and then had our siblings jump in the picture as well. Living so far away from my cousins is definitely hard and I wish we had a stronger bond, but maybe someday, when we’re older and wiser we will be able to sit down and talk and feel awkward about our past…

Libby

Libby and I have known each other since middle school. We would sit at the same lunch table, but never really talked. We sat at the same table in high school too, but didn’t really talk then either, until we had a class together sophomore year. That year we became friends, although we did not talk every day. Junior year is when our friendship really took off and it continued to grow our senior year of high school.

Libby and I really understand each other; she is the one person that I know I can tell absolutely anything to. She is there to give me advice when I need it, listen to me vent when I need to, or give a hug when I am having a bad day, just like I do the same for her.

Libby and I are constantly asked if we are sisters or twins. I never really saw a resemblance in us until my mom pointed it out. There have been countless times when we have been asked if we are related. The most was three times in one day. Many people tend to ask if we are twins first, and when we say no they then ask if we are sisters. We always talk about how we have to say yes one time just to see how people would react, but we have failed to do that.

Libby and I went to Jason Aldean’s concert last month and it was just amazing. Ever since then we have talked about how we want to save money and buy tickets for a really good seat, you know the ones that are like hundreds of dollars. This will be a major expense, and something that will have to wait until we are older, but it will be so awesome to say that we were in the pit or on the floor.

Last year, for our senior prom Libby and I went together. Cause who needs dates for prom anyways right? Even though it is a lot of fun to go with your boyfriend, we both had fun spending our last dance together as best friends. It is sad knowing that we will not be spending hours getting ready for the dance this year, but we have weddings to look forward to now.

Libby is my unbiological sister, and I couldn't have asked for a better girl to be by my side. Thank you for always being there for me!(:

Dakota

Dear Dakota,

I have grown close with you over the years from being best friends with Libby and being with Oliver. You would often come over and go swimming, or stop over at my house to see how my family was doing, you were always checking in on us. I am so glad I had the opportunity to get to know you, and not consider you a friend, but a brother.

I will never forget when you, Libby, Oliver, and I went on a double date to the monster jam and we had to drive separate because you and Oliver both loved driving your trucks so much. I have to say your trucks did look like beauts parked up on that snow bank. When the show was over we went back to your house and watched country music videos. I remember Libby and I sitting in the living room while you and Oliver were in the kitchen making a mountain of pizza rolls, you guys sure loved to eat. :)

Junior prom was definitely a night I will never forget. Having you, Libby, Oliver, and I all pose for pictures is something that I love to look back on. I loved how your dad had to take pictures from all different angles!

Senior homecoming also had some awesome pictures. I love the one where you have your sunglasses on and you are squinting because of the sun. As well as the picture of you and Oliver with your shades on posing like security guys.

Last year, it was the night before Christmas Eve and you were texting me like crazy. I told you I was making peanut butter chocolate dipped cookies, and you insisted that you wanted to help. Although, when you got to my house you just sat there and casually taste tested them. A couple months ago I was scrolling through your instagram pictures and I found the picture of the cookies, they looked burnt. In your caption you should have said they were dipped in chocolate, you must have just wanted everyone to think I'm horrible at baking. :)

I also love your obsession with lights. On that same night we went to watch a light show. You were sitting in the seat behind me and I will never forget how high pitched your voice got when the show started! You were making noises as the lights were dancing. I also found a video you posted on instagram of the light show, your caption for that was a little more accurate, “Some cool shit with the Sharkey family.” :)

I also wanted to upload the video of you that we played at your funeral, but it wouldn't let me...I even made a new one, but I didn't have any luck...I'm sorry...

Today, I still find it extremely hard to believe that you were taken so young. I am glad that you certainly did live your life to the fullest every chance you got. I am thankful to have such an amazing, goofy, loud guy looking over me from up above.  It hurts having to wait so long to see such an amazing guy again, but I know you are with me every day. I love you, Dakota, watch over us all down here, and keep living your life up there..

                                    Love Always,

Your Sister, Bre

Mom

Dear Mom,

          I have grown up so much over the past four years and I cannot thank you enough for always being there for me. You have definitely seen me at my worst, but you are always there for me to talk to, ask for help, or give advice. At times I know I can be a pain, that’s just part of growing up though. Mom, you’re the one person I can turn to no matter what and I know you’ll always do your best to help. We have experienced many changes in the past few years, but they have shaped us into the family we are today. I am so thankful to have you in my life and I could not have asked for a better mother. Today I turn eighteen, it’s honestly so crazy to see how time has flown, it seems like yesterday I was out at the sand hill cutting my foot open, or just being terrified to enter middle school. This coming fall you will have two freshmen, that’s insane, but it’s also a wonderful thing. Thank you for always being by my side, giving me a shoulder to cry on, and most importantly for being the mom you are today. I love you!

Love Always, -Bre

I wrote this letter to my mom my senior year of high school. I placed it on her pillow on my eighteenth birthday, and after she read it that night she came up to my room crying. My mom and I butt heads a lot, but that does not damage our relationship. Sometimes we have to yell at one another. We have to let our anger out and sometimes we do not do it in the best way, but at the end of the argument we almost always apologize.

I know I can go to my mom about anything and she will tell me the truth, mainly because I am old enough to figure out if she is lying or not. My mom always gives me advice whether I like it or not. She is constantly talking to my about relationships, motherhood, and our family. When she talks about relationships she either says do not get married, or wait many many years. Motherhood is often about waiting until after marriage to have kids and how to discipline them. My mom talks about our family a lot. Each family member has had a struggle in their life, and my mom often tells me that I can learn from each person in our family one way or another. Although, when she talks about these things the advice sometimes seems more like a lecture.

I thought being a single mom with two daughters was a struggle, in 2012 my mom adopted my step-cousin, Kylee. Kylee was my step-cousin on my dad’s side of the family. So, many people are baffled as to why my mom would adopt a child from her ex-husbands side of the family. My mom knew Kylee had a bad life when she was three years old. When the opportunity came three years ago to help Kylee, my mom was more than happy to turn her life around. Now, my mom is a single mother with three daughters. I am so amazed that my mom took on another child to love as her own. Yes, our household can be crazy at times because of all the girls, but my mom has made the perfect family, and I look up to her for that. One day I hope to be half the women that my mom is, but in the long run, I know I can always go to her about anything.

16 Pets and Counting

If you are an animal lover you probably consider your pets’ family. Throughout my life my family has had a total of sixteen pets, at one point my house had four family members and nine pets. We had three dogs, a cat, two rabbits, two fish, and one turtle. Growing up, Kayle and I were always playing with our dogs and rabbits, we tried to play with our cat, but he was mean and would always bite us. I loved growing up and being surrounded by all of the pets we had, but I hated when they passed away or if we had to put them down.

Our dogs were my German Shepherd, Bo, a Chocolate Lab, Hershey, and a Basset Hound, Buster. While Hershey and Bo were always wrestling, Buster would bark, he thought he was the referee. Having three dogs was a lot of work, they went through so much dog food and that resulted in there being mounds of cow pies in the yard. Thankfully it was my sister’s job to take care of that.

I had a rabbit named Midnight, she was a dwarf bunny. Kayle had a white rabbit named Snowball. I would be extra careful with my bunny, I considered her a baby. Kayle on the other hand, would run with Snowball up and down the driveway in a stroller. Snowball also loved to eat beef jerky and Oreos. I only fed my rabbit apples and carrots because I did not want her to die from having high cholesterol or anything. One morning Midnight and Snowball got out of their cage, they must have thought they traveled far and that they had to fend for themselves because out our dining room window we could see them the dirt hill next to our swing set. Snowball was digging a hole and Midnight was behind her smoothing out the dirt Snowball was throwing.

Throughout my life we have had three turtles, each one was named Swimmer. Swimmer One died because my grandma forgot to give him water while she was watching him, the Swimmer Two just died, and Swimmer Three was lost. Kayle decided to take our turtle for a walk. She picked him up and put him in her pocket. That poor turtle. Kayle went out and walked around the whole yard, field, and pool area. When Kayle came back I asked her where Swimmer was and she told me in her pocket, she looked there and began to scream and cry. When she took him for a walk, he fell out of her pocket, although we were very sad, the turtle was probably happy because he did not have to deal with two crazy girls anymore.

Today, my household consists of two dogs and a kitten. Kylee’s rabbit recently died, sadly, they do not have a long life expectancy. We still have Hershey, we rescued about seven years ago. We are unaware of how old he is, but we’re guessing he is around eight or nine now. Our other dog, Duke is a Black Lab. He just turned three a couple months ago. Both of our dogs are spoiled rotten, they sleep in bed with us, go on car rides all the time, and even have a five hundred dollar blanket to lay on. Our cat, Tootsie we rescued over the summer. She showed up on our porch and my mom let us keep her. Even though we do not have as many animals as we used to, they still fill my heart with love.

Bo Hunter Night

When I was little, I got a puppy as a Christmas present, a German Shepherd. I was kind of disappointed because I told my parents a wanted a girl and they picked out a boy, but in the end I could not have asked for a better best friend. I named my puppy Bo. My dad gave me a list of names I could choose from and I decided on Bo Hunter Night.

Bo was my protector, my best friend, and my sleeping buddy for eight years.  Bo would walk around the yard and woods with me, sometimes he would run off in the woods and I would yell for him to come back, he loved to explore. If I was having a rough day I would find Bo and go over and lay next to him. If I felt like crying I would lay my head on his back and cry into his fur, he would always turn around and lick my face. Bo could always cheer me up. I would let Bo come up to my room at night and let him sleep in my bed, sometimes he would take up too much room and I would tell him to lay on the floor. When Bo slept in my room, I felt like nothing could happen to me, I knew he would protect if monsters came out of the closet or if a burglar came through the window.

Bo loved to chase snowmobiles, four-wheelers, and go-carts.  When I was small enough to ride the Mini-Z, Bo would grab it by the skis and jerk the snowmobile up, many times he almost flipped me off of it. Bo would always chase my dad’s four-wheeler. He would run up and down the yard forever, he would bite at the tires, all he wanted to do was play. Bo would also chase our go-cart, which was not as fast as the four-wheeler so Bo had a better chance trying to catch it. He was constantly running in front of it and biting at the wheels, he had so much fun chasing us around the yard no matter what we were riding.

My favorite holiday is the 4^th of July, and it was also Bo’s. Unlike most dogs, Bo loved fireworks. He would not bark at them but run toward them, he was fascinated by the colors and loud booms. Bo often tried to eat fire crackers. Bo was pretty fast at chasing them, most of the time he could have a fire cracker in his mouth before it would even go off, and this was scary because we did not want one to pop in his mouth.

Bo was not doing good one day, so I decided to sleep down stairs with him because he had trouble walking up stairs to my room. Throughout the night he was breathing heavy and making noises, I would tell him to be quiet and stop it because I wanted some sleep. The next morning, Bo was still breathing heavy and he was lying on the couch, he would not even get up to go to the bathroom. Before I left for school, I walked over to my baby and told him that I loved him and kissed him on the head. When I got home from school I went to my grandparents, when my mom got home from work she came to get me. My mom sat next to me on the couch and told me that she took Bo to the vet and she had to put him down. The vet said there was a tumor inside of Bo’s stomach that exploded, which was blocking his oxygen. Losing my best friend was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through, I love Bo with all of my heart, and I am so glad that I was able to tell him I love him and give my baby one last kiss before he passed away.